When it comes to labor and delivery, I’ve had a wide range of experiences. Just to illustrate:
#1 (Joseph) was chemically induced at the Army hospital and ended up being delivered via c-section.
#2 (Catherine) was a midwife attended VBAC at the Army hospital, with the usual interventions (IV, epidural).
#3 (Margaret) and #4 (Benjamin) and #5 (Samuel) and #6 (Susanna) were all totally natural VBAC’s and midwife attended at a free-standing birth center.
I’ve never done a home birth before, but have certainly considered it and have many friends who have been very pleased with their experiences. Fortunately, if I ever decide to go this route, we have a wonderful family doctor in the area who will sometimes attend home births, as well as many midwives who offer this service (as well as in-home prenatal care)..
A couple of things that make a home birth attractive to me:
1. I wouldn’t have to go anywhere. I’ve always hated that drive to the birth center when I’m laboring in the cramped back seat of the car and praying we don’t have an accident or collision.
2. I would be in a comfortable, familiar setting.
3. I wouldn’t have to pack any bags.
Where a woman chooses to give birth is a personal decision and (despite what many mothers militantly assert) there is no right or wrong choice.
Basically, we try to pick the setting which offers what we consider to be closest to the “ideal birth.” Our ideal is influenced by past experience, our culture, the media and things like books we read and people we talk to.
For me, the birth center and a midwife-attended delivery have come pretty close to my ideal:
1. I prefer the midwife’s birth philosophy, which is basically that birth is a natural and normal process and that most of the time, everything goes right and needs little help or interference. By contrast, an OB is trained to view birth as a medical procedure and to focus on everything that might go wrong (hence the interventions, monitors, constant examinations, etc.)
2. I prefer the hands-off approach of a midwife during labor. If I don’t need anything, nobody bothers me or comes to examine me constantly.
3. I don’t like the restrictions and red tape that I dealt with in my hospital labors. They would only let me chew on ice chips even though I was weak and ravenously hungry. I was hooked me up to monitors and IV’s “just in case.”
4. I like that my midwife is also a mother and has given birth herself. To me, this makes a difference! When she’s giving me advice or encouraging me, I know that she speaks from personal experience and can sympathize with what I’m going through.
5. I like that when I am giving birth I’m in a place that’s set up just for that. When you enter a hospital, your risk for coming in contact with pathogens or germs is much higher.
6. I like the traditional wisdom that midwives possess to help ease the pain of labor and make delivery easier.
7. I like that the midwife is never in a hurry. She knows that some babies arrive quickly, and others take their time (even a few days!). Busy physicians don’t usually have the luxury of time on their side. Women sometimes get pressured into c-sections if the doctor isn’t satisfied with their “progress.”
8. I like that there is no minimum stay required. Sometimes, my husband and I return home the same day or the next day. We are very eager to return home, introduce the baby to older siblings, and sleep in our own beds.
Now, all of that being said, there are definitely advantages to a hospital birth. It’s still the most popular way to have a baby in America. I have a very dear friend who loves her hospital deliveries, so to present the other side of the coin, here are her reasons for choosing this type of delivery:
1. She loves being able to receive an epidural for complete pain relief as soon as she checks in. Her opinion is that modern medicine has discovered an escape from the pain, so why not take advantage of it? Having zero pain relaxes her and makes labor enjoyable.
2. She likes the constant attention from the nurses, doctors, etc. as it makes her feel they are “on top of things” and looking out for her well-being and that of the baby.
3. She prefers being electronically monitored as it gives her peace of mind about how the labor is progressing.
4. She does not mind any of the restrictions or red tape, as her view is “the doctor knows what he’s doing” and so she chooses to trust his/her judgment.
5. She tends to be an over-anxious person and so being in a hospital makes her feel 100% secure should anything go wrong.
(Note: midwives are trained to provide basic emergency care to mother and baby and are also trained to know when a labor requires immediate transfer to a hospital. Infant mortality statistics are roughly the same for hospitals as they are for midwives – 1.7 per 1000 births)
6. She likes being able to stay on a few days after birth and get some rest without having to worry about her other children, laundry, etc.
So there you have two different perspectives!
What is your preference?
I’ve had almost the same range of experiences giving birth that you have. My first was in the hospital via c-section, though it was because she was breech and not through any failure to progress. My 2nd was in the birth center via vbac. The 3rd and 4th were at home attended by a doctor. The fifth and sixth were at the same doctor’s clinic and this one will be delivered the same way, God willing. I think I prefer the clinic births the best since it’s not to far away and I can have someone come here to watch my other kids instead of having to send them away. Especially since I usually have my babies in the middle of the night 🙂
Distance is definitely a factor. Birth center and hospital are both 30 minutes away for us. I really don’t like the drive – not just during labor but also for all the prenatal visits – so I think that’s one reason a home birth seems so attractive to me.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Tabitha!
Anne
I couldn’t agree with you more. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong, but I do encourage people to EDUCATE themselves regardless of what birth they have.
Excellent point, Sarah Jane!
We don’t have birthing centers here, so the choice is hospital or home.
With my first child, the midwife groups were booked solid when I found out I was pregnant and began calling (around 5 weeks). Midwifes are very popular so it’s not uncommon uniformly. I ended up induced with a c-section (for fetal distress).
My second child was planned, I got a spot with the midwifes immediately. I had a vaginal birth without pain meds, but with CFM and an IV (GBS+). We left a few hours after birth, and it was perfect.
HBACs are not very common here uniformly. There’s only 1 of the 3 groups in my city that considers them (and I wasn’t with them). I am grateful that I did have my second in the hospital as I had tearing beyond what the midwifes were capable of repairing (baby was born with hand alongside her head), tore from the cervix all down my vagina, along with 3rd degree tears, labial tears, etc). I would have ended up at the hospital anyway it seems. The oncall OB fixed me up nicely though.
That’s great that midwives are very popular! I hope the momentum continues to build here in my area.
I gave birth 2 1/2 months ago and it was my first. We had a home delivery attended by a midwife. All of my pre-natal care was done by my midwife and I never saw a doctor; we even opted out of an ultrasound since we were certain about our due date. We had a wonderful pregnancy and birth experience and I would absolutely do it again this way. I love that my husband was able to play such an active role in the delivery and my mother also attended and contributed. My delivery was kind of long (seven hours counting from 5 min contractions and I pushed for three hours), but I was happy to be calling the shots with people around just to help facilitate my needs. After, I was the first person to hold my daughter, she fed within minutes of delivery, and I got to check to see the gender myself (she was received in a towel since I was in a pool so my midwife did not look). Those experiences were great and it was also nice that I got to shower in my own bathroom after, eat my food (ice cream from the carton in the shower – beat that!), and sleep in my own bed. I had friends deliver on the same day and I can’t imagine having to spend my first few days adjusting to my baby in a hospital, only to move home and have to start over in our house. Also, at one point during my contractions, my midwife, without checking me, announced that I was fully dilated and it was time to start pushing. We asked how she knew, and she explained that she attends labors, not just deliveries, so she can recognize my progression just from experience and staying by my side throughout vs. a doctor who really is either in-and-out or just arrives at the end. I appreciated that difference and the care and attention I received as not just being another person in a giant sterile environment.
I’m so impressed you tried a home birth with your very first baby. What a wonderful experience! Thanks for telling your story!
I have had all three of my children at home and wouldn’t choose to do it any other way! I have been blessed with amazing midwives who know what they are doing and handle pregnancy, labor, birth and any complications (should they arise) with such competence it put my husband and myself at ease the entire time.
What wonderful experiences, Nicole! It’s so comforting to have a birth attendant that both you and your husband can trust and rely upon.
I prefer homebirth. My first two births were typical hospital births. My first was induced and very painful, I was forced to have my water broken against my will. It was a long, exhausting process and I remember not even wanting to hold my baby afterward. I just wanted to be taken care of myself after that battle. My second ended in cesarean for failure to progress. She was very large and posterior. I felt better after that birth though I wish I’d realized how painful recovery from major abdominal surgery was. I also had trouble healing afterward.
My third birth was a HBAC. He was also a large baby and posterior but I was allowed to labor in a birthing tub in all fours which felt so much better than being on my back. Once my son turned, he came quickly and my husband caught him. They now have a very special bond. 🙂 It was hard and painful and I ended up with a pretty bad tear but it was worth it. 🙂
My next two homebirths ended badly but in my heart I still very much would want the homebirth experience again. I love my midwife. She’s like close family to me. I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant and we’ve decided to have a scheduled cesarean for the baby’s safety. I’m dreading the recovery and the thrush that will likely threaten our nursing relationship after the antibiotics the hospital will insist on. I worry about staph infections and I very much wish it was the nurse delivering the baby rather than the Dr. Or better yet, my midwife.
I think she’d get a kick out of performing a cesarean but only because of the experience and because of what we’ve been through together. She actually got to watch my last cesarean from right outside the operating room. She was the only family member that got to witness my last baby’s birth since my husband was not allowed in and I was under general anesthesia.
I just wish our nation would wise up and see that birth should be as natural as possible. Yes, there are absolutely times when intervention is needed and cesareans do occasionally save lives but you can have too much of a good thing. I also wish that here in the U.S. Drs and nurses would let go of their pride and work with midwives and parents to do what’s best for mothers and babies and not what’s best for them and their egos.
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for putting a positive spin on BOTH options. Since I have gotten into the CD and natural scene I have found so many moms that are dead set and determined to judge and call other moms bad if they choose something other than natural birthing (whether at home, birthing center, whatever), I have been made to feel guilty for my choice to be in a hospital with an epidural with my doctor. I just want to say THANK YOU for not slamming this option. Also, I think that a person like you, who has been through literally every option out there, has been able to set a positive and honest tone for each experience and I totally respect that (there are others I have disliked and chose not to read b/c they are way too extreme for me). I, like your friend, like the sanctuary of a hospital, I LOVE my doctor, he is Chinese and prefers not to cut and uses methods that many doctors won’t use to prevent tearing or cutting. I have thought about having a midwife w/ each of my pregnancies, but I have been scared, plus, I’ve known my doc for years and it’s just comforting, I guess. I applaud those women brave enough to do through birth without any sort of intervention or meds, but I’m just not one of them. Either way, Good luck to all those moms out there, no matter what decision you make on how to bring your baby into this world…it is a beautiful experience no matter what! 🙂
“It is a beautiful experience no matter what!” Wow, Anna, I don’t think I could have said it any better! And thanks so much for taking time to write and for your compliments on the post! It means a lot. Anne