things I’ve said this about and where I stand
Baking Bread
Cloth Diapering
Making Our Own Clothes
Having a Big Family
On one hand, it’s been popular in modern times to tell women “You can do anything!” and yet how many women respond to a challenge with the words “I could never do that!” Surely there has to be a balance between knowing our limitations and meeting new challenges.
Quite often, when I tell someone that I have 5 children (update…now there are 6!), or that I home school, or that we raise and butcher our own meat, or that we cloth diaper, etc. etc. they will respond like this: “Oh, I could never do that!” Of course, this is not meant to be a criticism; they are just saying they think they can’t do it for one reason or another.
That response always brings to mind a saying I heard once from Dave Ramsey: “It doesn’t matter if you think you can, or if you think you can’t. You’re right!”
That is to say, when we think we can’t do something, then we generally won’t do it.
But the fact is, there are a lot of things we COULD do if we only put forth the effort, educated ourselves and made conditions ripe for the adventure. If we would “set the stage for success” then saying “I can do this” would be much easier.
Despite the many things I’ve undertaken, I am still very guilty of this way of thinking sometimes. Like many, I fear the unknown. I keep saying I’d “like” to bake all of our bread and sew clothing for my children, but I’m not taking any steps to make those things happen.
Another saying I love: “If it is to be….then it’s up to me!”
Here are some leaps of faith I’ve taken and the outcomes that resulted. It’s good for me to look over this list from time to time for encouragement. The fear of failure is usually a lot worse than the outcomes we imagine (and that rarely happen):
1. I got married. Yes, this counts! It’s a big leap to commit yourself to one man for the rest of your life, till death do you part. The outcome? Ten years together so far – and the security, comfort and happiness this brings. And did I mention all the beautiful children?
2. I started using cloth diapers. One day I just quit buying disposables, so I was forced to go “old school.” In came the prefolds and diaper pins and covers. The outcome? Lots of money savings. Some failures and foibles along the way as I learned what worked best. Four years later….here we are. I’m one of the biggest cloth advocates you find anywhere!
3. I started budgeting. Actually, this is something my husband and I do together. And it’s hard. But it works. Do I like having restrictions on spending? Not really. Do I like looking at the budget every month and going over the numbers with my husband? Hardly! Do I like that we’re not living from “paycheck to paycheck” anymore? YES! Do I like that we don’t overdraw on checking anymore? YES! Do I like that we finally have savings AND a growing emergency fund? YES!
What are some things you keeping saying you can’t do, and what are your reasons? What would it take for you to go ahead and try?
Don’t know if this is relevant or not but I absolutely cannot save any money back. Ever. A savings account is non existent around here. :(. No matter how hard I try…..and I’ve tried.
Have you ever tried that thing of forcing savings by having it drafted either right out of checking (automatically) or having it taken right out of the payment and into a fund?
Great post! I am actually going through this right now. I have been telling my husband that I want to make all of our cleaning supplies, soaps, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, etc. i also want to learn how to sew more than a button on a piece of clothing. I would love to make my own handbags, clothing, and diapers. I have wanted to do this ever since I was a little girl (ok, maybe not the diaper part…that idea came from becoming a mom).
What holds me back? Ummm, two toddlers who won’t give me 2 seconds to use the bathroom, household chores, the list can go on all day long…but I am sure that I can squeeze in some time in somewhere. I am thinking of asking my family to go in on a nice sewing machine for my birthday and start by fitting in time to work on one project per week.
Alanna,
I love what you wrote here because it’s just the truth. A mother’s time for projects and dream-realizing is so limited! I’ve tried getting up a little earlier to see if I could get more done, and that works a little, but then again the quiet time is so wonderful that I will often eat up that extra time just enjoying a cup of coffee and a book! lol I guess the only answer is that if we want to try out something new, we might have to “give up” something else for a while. That might mean letting a household chore go temporarily, taking a shortcut with dinner, or putting another hobby on hold.
Thanks for sharing and keep me posted about the sewing machine!
Anne
I think the truth in it is that people should be saying “I’m too lazy to do that!” *grinning*
But I do agree that you should take it as a compliment! When I hear someone say that about something I do I just think to myself “Well, that’s one more thing I’m teaching my daughters CAN be done!”
Honestly though, I’ve got a friend who’s father has a farm and they raise and butcher their meat (well, they might kill it and take it to a butcher) and I have a lot of respect for that. I love meat, I just don’t know that I’m ready to watch it get from eating to being eaten!
Heidi, you are too funny!
I actually thought the chicken butchering would be difficult, but it wasn’t really. Instead of just jumping in and trying to do it myself, I volunteered to help a woman at my church when she butchered hers. This lady was a pro. I was so busy learning and doing that I didn’t have time to be nervous or overly sensitive.
I say I could never live somewhere cold. I really don’t even know what it would take to get me to live in a cold place. I’ve lived in Texas almost my whole life…
I thought I never would either, Angela! I’m a Mississippi girl. But then both our families moved to the Midwest….so my husband and I followed!
I love your history behind the name “Zephyr Hill”. Is this a picture (What is Zephyr Hill) of your families past?
Hi Linda,
The Zefferjahn family built the farm house we live in, however we are not related to them. But it seemed like a nice idea to name the place after them, in a way.
Thanks for reading
Anne at Zephyr Hill
I keep wanting to start cloth diapering because that would help us at the grocery store SO MUCH!! It seems that the bill goes up while the cart gets emptier. 🙁 The ONLY thing holding me back, is that we do not have a washer and dryer (aka we go to the laundry mat) and we do our wash only once a week (which is only one load). I keep reading about how you shouldn’t leave them lying around for more than 3 days. I would hand wash them (I do that anyway when he has a leak) but I don’t have a “slop” or even a big enough sink to do such task.
Your situation would definitely make using cloth diapers quite difficult, but maybe there are some ways to make it work? Cloth Diaper Whisperer posted about washing diapers at the laundromat and she only did 1 load a week. All you really need is a sink to rinse out each diaper after a change. Then store in a waterproof wet bag (you’ll probably need an extra large size). The only drawback is you’ll need to start off with a bigger stash of diapers so they will last you a week. Here’s the link to Rebecca’s article: http://www.theclothdiaperwhisperer.com/2011/10/saving-money-at-laundromat.html ~Anne
I said I could never do direct sales – but I’m giving it a go! I want, more than anything, to be a SAHM. This might be the only way to make it work and I’m going to. It Works! and I can! 😀