If you’ve always heard that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if you’re doing everything right, I’m here to tell you from personal experience that it just isn’t true. Putting aside the typical causes of pain which DO indicate something is being done wrong (bad latch, poor positioning, tongue tie, etc.), let’s look at some of the other reasons even the most experienced nursing mother may suffer from pain.
Letdown: It can hurt when your milk lets down. For me, it hurts for the first two or three months and then changes from pain to mild discomfort which lasts for the duration of the nursing relationship. This is something I know is normal (for me) and I’ve just gotten used to it. I’m not doing anything incorrectly. It’s just the way I am. Why is the milk ejection reflex painful for some women? It can be caused by overactive or forceful letdown which swells the tissue and causes temporary pain. It might just have to do with your physiology and how you respond to the initial surge of milk.
Toughening Up: Some women have to go through a gradual process of becoming accustomed to the sensation of nursing, and it can be painful. I’m not talking about a few days of soreness at the beginning. I’m talking weeks of pain as your body adjusts and the baby’s breastfeeding skills improve. Again, nobody is doing anything wrong; it’s just a process. If you tend to have very sensitive skin, then the toughening up phase might take longer than usual.
My tips for comfort measures: Try numbing yourself with an ice cube before letting your hungry newborn latch on. Take a deep breath and hold it in when they first start feeding; release your breathe slowly as everything softens and letdown begins. Try alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen on really hard days. Drag out your breast pump if you just cannot face another nursing session without crying. Pure lanolin ointment can help.
Growing Up. Some newborns start life with a very small mouth. And some mothers have large “parts.” What that means is even a baby with a good latch can cause his mother pain simply because it’s hard to get everything in his mouth. Be patient because as your baby grows; things will get more comfortable. In the meantime, you can help yourself and baby out a little by making a “breast sandwich,” as our family doctor humorously calls it. Elongate and narrow the areaola by grasping the breast between your thumb and fingers and pull back towards your chest wall. This will help baby get more in his/her mouth during latch-on.
And after latching on, do the Dr. Sears lower lip flip, multiple times if you need to, for a more comfortable feeding.
Teething: My babies teeth miserably. It’s hard for them and painful for me. Gumming, bearing down, biting and pulling on and off really take their toll on the nursing mother, and yet teething is perfectly normal and natural. Since teething goes on for quite a while, you can’t rely on 24/7 pain medication for you OR your child. And what baby will happy with a teether or cold rag throughout the day and the night? After 10 children, I haven’t found much at all in the way of relief; early teething is a phase that I just try to grin and bear.
Hormones. Despite nursing, your cycles may return or “try” to return. And hormones can cause pain in the pre-menstrual phase and during ovulation. It hurts, but it’s normal. The pain might be localized, and just on one side, leading you to mistake it for a plugged duct. Or you may have all over tenderness on both sides. Thankfully, it subsides without any treatment within a day or so, and will likely return again with the next cycle. Moist heat and mild pain relievers can be helpful.
Thrush: This is a painful condition that has nothing to do with your nursing technique or baby’s latch. Thrush, also called candida or yeast, usually appears on the surface, but can settle deep inside if not treated (ouch!). Signs of thrush include: burning or stinging pain, a pinkish or red appearance, itching, throbbing or stabbing pains inside (especially between feeds), and a case of thrush in your baby’s mouth or diaper. Thrush can be tough to beat, but I’ve always had success with Dr. Newman’s protocol. You’ll need a compounding pharmacy to make up the ointment for you.
I wrote this post because so many women give up on nursing because of unexplained pain. If you’ve tried all the usual tips and techniques, and everything looks good, then you might be very discouraged by continued discomfort. Hopefully, my post will help you to see that some pain can be normal, and in many cases, time will alleviate it. So hang in there, if you can, and nurse as long as you can. It’s so good for your baby!
Are you experiencing pain while nursing even though you and baby are doing everything by the book? Do you have any tips or encouragement to share?
These are very good tips, Anne. One thing I would add would be a lactation consultant. If a woman is having problems or experiencing pain, she shouldn’t dwell in that situation. A good lactation consultant might be the help. They can often diagnose issues ad help her to solve them.
They have been invaluable to me, even jut for some support.
Absolutely, and thanks for mentioning that! We have a great group at our local hospital that has been a wonderful resource for me personally. ~Anne
I also hate how all the books (and many BF ‘experts’) will tell you there should be no pain if done correctly. I wasn’t really prepared with my first child and gave up after 3 days when i couldn’t nurse without a nipple shield. I was determined not to give up with my 2nd baby. I thought I was prepared and would know how to make it work painlessly. But I cried through that whole first night as I had to grit my teeth just to get through feedings. My midwife, pediatrician, and WIC BF counselor could find nothing wrong to explain the issue. So for 3 months I just had to suffer through the worst until the pain gradually subsided. I used a pump but baby would not take any bottles. I used tons of lanolin cream, cold packs, warm showers, etc. During feedings I tried not to focus on nursing but would watch a movie or tv until it was over to try and distract me from the pain. I wanted to give up many times but my husband was so supportive and he got me through the worst of it. After about 3 months the pain started to go away. I nursed her for 1 1/2 yrs then baby #3 for about a year. Not much pain with the 3rd child thankfully.
Anna, thank you for posting this!! Your experience is a lot like mine. Even with good technique and plenty of support there can still be discomfort or even pain. Knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel can help you hang on. I remember calling a mother of 10 for help several years back and asking her about breastfeeding pain. She told me “Breastfeeding always hurts for me.” It really opened my eyes and gave me some perspective. Here was a breastfeeding expert telling me that it can actually be normal for it to hurt for a while. ~Anne
Thank you so much for this post. I wish I would have read it with my first baby! I’m now nursing my second baby and it still sometimes hurts, even though I know there’s nothing I can do about it. I agree with the above poster about talking to a lactation consultant. I discovered with my second child that I have Raynaud’s disease in my nipples (which can cause severe pain… it’s definitely not as common as the “normal” reasons for discomfort but it’s worth looking into if the pain is ongoing and excruciating). Thanks to a helpful IBCLC, I’m now taking medication for it and it has helped immensely. But back to your post…. nursing is not pain-free for me, but it’s tolerable and I’m happy to endure some discomfort to give my babe the best. Thanks for a great post. 🙂
Keara, I’m glad you mentioned Raynaud’s because I wondered at one time if that was my problem. My sister has Raynaud’s, so it’s in my family. Since my pain decreases over time, I’m thinking it’s just some of the issues described above. I’m SO glad you found the help you needed! I read a blog post about a nursing mother with Raynaud’s and was just amazed that she kept nursing through such severe pain until she found an answer. My hat is off to you, and thank goodness for the IBCLC! ~Anne
Oh, so very true! I’m getting ready to nurse my eighth, and I must admit, I cringe a little every time I remember how painful the first couple of weeks have been with each of my children…. I’ve grown to learn that that’s just the way I am, as well. With two of my babies, there was an issue with latch which was corrected with the help of a lactation consultant. But overall, I just have very sensitive skin which does require that toughening phase that Anne speaks of! Pain isn’t always a bad thing. In this case, it’s par for the course and well worth it!
And thank goodness we have the option of offering things up! Thanks for your encouragement, Robin 🙂 ~Anne
I read this post late one night while trying to get my son to latch on. Both the post and the comments were exactly what I needed to hear at that point. My breastfeeding journey started off rocky, and was full of tears, weight loss, and stress. It was hard! After reading and hearing how easy it is, I felt as if I was the only one that couldn’t feed my baby. That’s tough for a new mom! This post reassured me that breastfeeding is hard on many moms, yet it’s the stories you hardly hear about. Thank you for the post, Anne! After working hard through many obstacles, my son is finally latching on, and is able to effectively express the milk that he needs. I couldn’t be more proud! It was hard work, but we got here! We still have a bit more work, but I know it is so worth it!
I felt this same way for so long, and it makes me so happy that the post was encouraging to you! Maybe we don’t hear about the problems so much because of breastfeeding advocacy? In an effort to get more mothers to nurse, they highlight all the advantages and don’t focus on the hardships. Like you, I agree it’s worth it, and when everything is finally sorted out, nursing is so good for mother and child. You SHOULD be proud because you stuck with something that was very difficult, Anel, and you did it out of love for your son! ~Anne